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If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
I\'m Jewish. I don\'t work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
Lohr\'s Law: The future is merely the past with a twist ? and better tools.
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn\'t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
Always go to other people\'s funerals, otherwise they won\'t come to yours.
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there\'s no law against whacking them around a bit.
So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me
The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
Maybe this world is another planet\'s Hell.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
I don\'t pray because I don\'t want to bore God.
I never forget a face, but in your case I\'ll be glad to make an exception.
Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can\'t get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you\'re gonna get.
You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
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We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you\'re pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
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Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.
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If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn\'t.
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If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
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The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
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Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don\'t add up.
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
O\'Toole\'s Corollary of Finagle\'s Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don\'t talk about other people.
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
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The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
If a man does his best, what else is there?
Hearing nuns\' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
The company doesn\'t tell me what to say, and I don\'t tell themwhere to stick it.
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Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
Don\'t knock masturbation, it\'s sex with someone I love .
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
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The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
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Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
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If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
If you think it\'s simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
After I\'m dead I\'d rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
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The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
Hearing nuns\' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
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If it wasn\'t for muscle spasms, I wouldn\'t get any exercise at all.
True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There\'s also a negative side
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
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It\'s clearly a budget. It\'s got a lot of numbers in it.
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
Always go to other people\'s funerals, otherwise they won\'t come to yours.
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I\'m going to miss mine by just a few days.
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don\'t talk about other people.
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, \'Why god? Why me?\' and the thundering voice of God answered, \'There\'s just something about you that pisses me off.\'
When I am dead, I hope it may be said: \'His sins were scarlet but his books were read.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
If you haven\'t got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.
If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
Hanlon\'s Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we\'d have a much easier time raising money.
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that\'s how dogs spend their lives.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn\'t take it out of my garden.
I\'m not a member of any organized political party, I\'m a Democrat!
Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a \'C\', the idea must be feasible.
O\'Toole\'s Corollary of Finagle\'s Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
I have an existential map; it has \'you are here\' written all over it.
Oh for pity\'s sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I\'m going to miss mine by just a few days.
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When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.
Hofstadter\'s Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter\'s Law.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
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I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
But at my back I always hear Time\'s winged chariot hurrying near.
Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
I\'ve had a wonderful time, but this wasn\'t it.
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
If it wasn\'t for C, we\'d be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
Copy from one, it\'s plagiarism; copy from two, it\'s research.
Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
My last cow just died, so I won\'t need your bull anymore.
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn\'t over until everyone gets their cookies.
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
Machine. Unexpectedly, I\'d invented a time
Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.
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They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you\'ve got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn\'t your biggest problem.
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I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
So I rang up a local building firm, I said \'I want a skip outside my house.\' He said \'I\'m not stopping you.\'
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
I\'m trying to see things from your point of view but I can\'t get my head that far up my ass.
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can\'t remember what they are.
Finagle\'s Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there\'s no law against whacking them around a bit.
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don\'t add up.
Fill what\'s empty, empty what\'s full, and scratch where it itches.
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Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn\'t mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other\'s children.
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There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
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The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don\'t add up.
It\'s impossible to experience one\'s death objectively and still carry a tune.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, \'Don\'t you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?\' I said \'I didn\'t know there were any witnesses. Now I\'ll have to kill you too\'.
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
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Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
I\'ve just learned about his illness. Let\'s hope it\'s nothing trivial.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn\'t take it out of my garden.
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, \'cause if they couldn\'t, they\'d have to wake up to the fact that life\'s one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can\'t seem to keep up is they\'re a bunch of misfits and losers.
To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him
I\'m not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It\'s just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
It\'s dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that\'s successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
A physicist is an atom\'s way of knowing about atoms.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don\'t talk about other people.
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is \'to be prepared\'.
The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment
I have four children which is not bad considering I\'m not a Catholic.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/26/(Thu) 10:27
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